A very interesting question...

So, I was talking to Michael today via email, as we usually do. And he mentioned, as he usually does, the SNL episode he saw Saturday night (because he still actually watches. I gave up on SNL after Jimmy Fallon left, though it started getting weak after Chris Kattan left. MANGO!) and he mentioned that it was Amy Poehler's last show as a full-time actor. I'd already seen her send off thanks to perezhilton.com (the only news I ever watch/read). So I asked him why he thought she'd left.

His exact answer? "Well, a child just popped out of her vagina so I think that has something to do with her leaving....plus, I heard NBC is giving her a show like they did for Tina."

After my chuckling and some banter back and forth, and somehow we also touched upon the fact that he hasn't been popping anything out of his vagina (or lack thereof), he asked me what I'd do if I got pregnant. Well, more specifically, who would be the first person I would tell. And me, being me, asked what the situation was. Would I be in a relationship? Married? Expected pregnancy?

And Michael, being Michael, responded with the most dramatic hypothetical situation (well, not the MOST dramatic, but it's pretty up there): A one night stand.

First, I had to have a good laugh because that would mean I was getting laid. So:

What the FUCK would I do? Geez. Like, I can't even wrap my head around what I would do. Or how to tell my family--especially my grandparents. It's funny, because I was actually thinking about this the other day, and telling Abi. I'm not sure he would speak to me for awhile. I mean, I'm the "good" grandchild (a private little laugh at this. What he doesn't know won't hurt him). How could I look him or Beba (or my Dad ohmygoshI'vejuststartedhyperventilatingnotreally) in the face?

And how exactly would I tell my mother? I mean, yeah, sure, I joke around with her in really awful ways sometimes (i.e.: "What am I doing? Having hot, raunchy sex with a big black man with a huge penis.") but how to sit her down and tell her that?

I came to the conclusion that I would sob hysterically for a few days--max a week--and then get over it and probably get really, really excited. I love babies. I want a baby, very badly. Badly in a very bad way. Not ideal, but hey, life is life, eh?

And would it be awful that I wouldn't tell the father? (Unless my so-called one night stand was a friend of mine who I trusted. But then it begs the question of how horny/drunk/stupid I was to actually do that. That isn't me at all. So this hypothetical situation sucks anyway, because I'm not the one-night stand type in the least.)

That is all. And, as for the obvious question in anyone's mind who attended FCS: Yeah, I would think about an abortion. But I would never go through with it (or maybe I would? I can't really make the decision--I'm clearly not pregnant). There are worse things in life than having a baby at the "wrong" time.

I.E.: Starving because I won't ever make any money in the career I want to go into. Oh, wait, that's right. I don't know what career I want to go into.

In sadder news: Tonight was the season finale of Dexter. :'( And I missed it. I'll have to see it tomorrow. Why do shows have seasons? It's completely unfair.